Easter, It's Not Just For Christians.

When was the last time you ate trifle? Seriously now, have a think. While you're at it, when was the last time you had jelly and ice cream? or an ice cream Sunday? For me, these classics were relegated to my childhood, along with listening to music in my room for hours on end and smoking out of my bedroom window. For a long time I'd convinced myself that I hated trifle, mainly because of the jelly. 'Don't trust food that moves of its own accord' was my mantra, along with 'don't eat anything luminous'. However, just as it is only in the last 5 years I have been acquainted with the joys of piccalilli, more recently I have been dipping my toe into the custard, as it were, and falling in deeply in love.

When I was little, trifle was found in the fridge at Christmas time made by my Nan (I wasn't a massive fan for some reason. Of the trifle, not my Nan. By the way, that's not my Nan at the top, it's just a picture from 'The Internet', Copyright what?), and in later years found in individual, foil sealed plastic tubs with 'Sainsbury's Strawberry Trifle' written on the top. I don't remember ever touching these, and neither did my Mum, but my Dad who has a penchant for all things horrendous (Fray Bentos steak and kidney pies, fried egg on fried cheese on fried bread, griebenschmalz on toast...Google it) got through about 5 - 10 of these a week. I have to admit that at some point during my formative years I was partial to the Cadbury's chocolate trifles, but I don't put them in the same category, so I'll save that one for another day.

Anyway, Saturday just gone I was feeling a bit delicate, and had a very particular hunger. I wanted prawns and spaghetti, steak, chips, roasted mushrooms, avocado, and...trifle. I literally don't know what came over me. So, as you'd expect, I made one myself. Sort of. Whilst at the shop I spent some time sizing up the ready made trifles, and eventually came to the conclusion that although I wasn't feeling up to making my own custard, I definitely could do better than something knocked up in a factory.  I also decided that although I wanted something authentic, as we are in 2013, and despite the fact that we are in a double dip recession, I could do better than tinned fruit and ladies fingers.

My authenticity (when I say authentic, I mean the opposite of de-constructed, Nigella 'this is MY take on a classic' Lawson, nonsense) hinged on there being jelly in there somewhere. Not just fancy compote and real fruit, actual jelly. Hartley's Strawberry Jelly. Ripped into cubes into a Pyrex jug, painstakingly stirred (for ages) with hot water, indecently wobbly once set, jelly. My first major fuck up was trying to whip single cream - unsurprisingly it wouldn't. After 20 minutes in the KitchenAid at the highest setting, I had to admit defeat. My second major fuck up was when I realised that I didn't have a suitable bowl to make the trifle in. This should be cut glass, with straight sides, and deep. I made do with the Denby fruit bowl, but I did miss seeing the layers (it's the small things).

Despite these two fails, on eating it I was in jelly and custard heaven. I had forgotten the brilliant farty, sucking noise you get when serving trifle, and the way that the sponge soaks up the jelly to form a strange spongy, wobbly, moist union, so much greater than the sum of its parts. Because of the cream disaster (we just poured cream on top once it was in individual bowls) it did look a bit of a state, and if you have the time to make your own custard and wait for it to cool, all the better. But, for a pudding that took minimal effort it achieved maximum satisfaction. I'll put my 'recipe' if you can call it that, below for anyone who fancies getting reacquainted.

Top Tip - if you find yourself alone with it and you want to feel really decadent, eat it whilst in the bath, preferably with an enormous spoon. You might feel a bit self-conscious at first, but once you get past that, you won't stop smiling. And during these economically difficult and depressing times, it's a cheap thrill that costs nothing and harms nobody (just make sure you lock the bathroom door first).

Ingredients:

1 Tub top quality fresh vanilla custard (Waitrose or M&S do the best)

1 Packet of Hartley's Strawberry Jelly.

1 lemon drizzle loaf cake.

1 box of fresh  strawberries.

1 tub whipping cream.

Method:

Cut the loaf cake into chunky fingers (two finger width) and arrange at the bottom of your serving bowl. If you have it, splash over a bit of sherry, or Marsala, or if you're feeling dangerous, vodka (if you do use a spirit, use less than you would wine, obviously) Slice your strawberries in half (I like big bits of strawberry, and strawberry is a delicate fruit so doesn't really like being cut up small) and arrange them on top of the cake. Make your jelly according to packet instructions, and then pour all over your cake and strawberries. Refrigerate until the jelly has set (this varies, but allow at least a couple of hours). Once set, pour over the custard and put back in fridge while you whip the cream. Once, whipped, spoon over the top of the custard, run yourself a bath, find a big spoon, and remember to lock the door.

In other news, in the spirit of the season I decided to make some hot cross buns (yes with fresh yeast - I've also been rediscovering bread making, more of that later). Unfortunately, I forgot to put a cross of the top of them, so they are, according to Diesel 'Atheist Buns', and very tasty they were too.  Shame I can't get the bloody picture the right way up, but you get the idea.