When was the last time you ate
trifle? Seriously now, have a think. While you're at it, when was the last time
you had jelly and ice cream? or an ice cream Sunday? For me, these classics were
relegated to my childhood, along with listening to music in my room for hours
on end and smoking out of my bedroom window. For a long time I'd convinced
myself that I hated trifle, mainly because of the jelly. 'Don't trust food that
moves of its own accord' was my mantra, along with 'don't eat anything luminous'.
However, just as it is only in the last 5 years I have been acquainted with the
joys of piccalilli, more recently I have been dipping my toe into the custard,
as it were, and falling in deeply in love.
When I was little, trifle was found
in the fridge at Christmas time made by my Nan (I wasn't a massive fan for some
reason. Of the trifle, not my Nan. By the way, that's not my Nan at the top, it's just a picture from 'The Internet', Copyright what?), and in later years found in individual,
foil sealed plastic tubs with 'Sainsbury's Strawberry Trifle' written on the
top. I don't remember ever touching these, and neither did my Mum, but my Dad
who has a penchant for all things horrendous (Fray Bentos steak and kidney
pies, fried egg on fried cheese on fried bread, griebenschmalz on toast...Google
it) got through about 5 - 10 of these a week. I have to admit that at some
point during my formative years I was partial to the Cadbury's chocolate
trifles, but I don't put them in the same category, so I'll save that one for
another day.
Anyway, Saturday just gone I was
feeling a bit delicate, and had a very particular hunger. I wanted prawns and
spaghetti, steak, chips, roasted mushrooms, avocado, and...trifle. I literally
don't know what came over me. So, as you'd expect, I made one myself. Sort of.
Whilst at the shop I spent some time sizing up the ready made trifles, and
eventually came to the conclusion that although I wasn't feeling up to making
my own custard, I definitely could do better than something knocked up in a
factory. I also decided that although I
wanted something authentic, as we are in 2013, and despite the fact that we are
in a double dip recession, I could do better than tinned fruit and ladies
fingers.
My authenticity (when I say authentic, I mean the opposite of de-constructed, Nigella
'this is MY take on a classic' Lawson, nonsense) hinged on there being jelly in
there somewhere. Not just fancy compote and real fruit, actual jelly. Hartley's Strawberry Jelly. Ripped into cubes into a Pyrex jug, painstakingly stirred (for ages) with hot
water, indecently wobbly once set, jelly. My first major fuck up was trying to
whip single cream - unsurprisingly it wouldn't. After 20 minutes in the KitchenAid at the highest setting, I had to admit defeat. My second major fuck up was
when I realised that I didn't have a suitable bowl to make the trifle in. This
should be cut glass, with straight sides, and deep. I made do with the Denby
fruit bowl, but I did miss seeing the layers (it's the small things).
Despite these two fails, on
eating it I was in jelly and custard heaven. I had forgotten the brilliant farty,
sucking noise you get when serving trifle, and the way that the sponge soaks up
the jelly to form a strange spongy, wobbly, moist union, so much greater than the sum of its parts. Because of the cream
disaster (we just poured cream on top once it was in individual bowls) it did
look a bit of a state, and if you have the time to make your own custard and
wait for it to cool, all the better. But, for a pudding that took minimal
effort it achieved maximum satisfaction. I'll put my 'recipe' if you
can call it that, below for anyone who fancies getting reacquainted.
Top Tip -
if you find yourself alone with it and you want to feel really decadent, eat it
whilst in the bath, preferably with an enormous spoon. You might feel a bit self-conscious
at first, but once you get past that, you won't stop smiling. And during these
economically difficult and depressing times, it's a cheap thrill that costs
nothing and harms nobody (just make sure you lock the bathroom door first).
Ingredients:
1 Tub top quality fresh vanilla
custard (Waitrose or M&S do the best)
1 Packet of Hartley's Strawberry
Jelly.
1 lemon drizzle loaf cake.
1 box of fresh strawberries.
1 tub whipping cream.
Method:
Cut the loaf cake into chunky
fingers (two finger width) and arrange at the bottom of your serving bowl. If
you have it, splash over a bit of sherry, or Marsala, or if you're feeling
dangerous, vodka (if you do use a spirit, use less than you would wine,
obviously) Slice your strawberries in half (I like big bits of strawberry, and
strawberry is a delicate fruit so doesn't really like being cut up small) and
arrange them on top of the cake. Make your jelly according to packet instructions, and then
pour all over your cake and strawberries. Refrigerate until the jelly has set
(this varies, but allow at least a couple of hours). Once set, pour over the
custard and put back in fridge while you whip the cream. Once, whipped, spoon
over the top of the custard, run yourself a bath, find a big spoon, and
remember to lock the door.
In other news, in the spirit of
the season I decided to make some hot cross buns (yes with fresh yeast - I've
also been rediscovering bread making, more of that later). Unfortunately, I
forgot to put a cross of the top of them, so they are, according to Diesel
'Atheist Buns', and very tasty they were too. Shame I can't get the bloody picture the right way up, but you get the idea.
