(In) Consistency

 

A very good friend of mine told me some time ago that the most important thing about writing a blog is to be consistent. It doesn’t matter whether you update your blog once a day, once a week, once a month, or even once a year. The important thing is to ensure that you actually update it when people expect you to. Ah, wise words I said nodding sagely, feeling pretty good about the fact that for three weeks (three weeks!) I had managed to upload posts on a regular basis. How naive I was. It wasn’t that I stopped enjoying the blogging; it was just that my life turned upside down a bit. And it was all purely because of decisions that I made. And wanted to make. And in all honesty, as far as writing this blog, it made me feel like a bit of a fraud. Even reading the headline now makes my face flush...’financially stable but unhappy financial compliance consultant...’

Essentially my story is this: For nearly a year and a half, I worked as an apprentice chef here in Guernsey. Loving every minute of the actual cooking, but struggling (drowning might be a better way of putting it) financially, missing out on spending time with my wonderful boyfriend and friends and family, and living in a perpetual state of fear that a tooth might fall out and I wouldn’t be able to pay for a false one, or I would get sick and not be able to pay to go the doctor. Unlike the UK, Guernsey has no National Health Service, and believe me, I could not afford to pay for insurance. Just like many others that live on this island. So, like many others at the (in my case literally) bottom of the food chain, I just kept my fingers crossed and was extra careful with my knives. 

A few months ago I reached the point where I felt that I just didn’t want to live like this anymore. So in short, I went to see a recruitment consultant, had a couple of interviews, and got a job in a bank. I know that pretty much makes me a sell out, but that’s just the way it is, and actually, I’m feeling pretty good about the situation. I can eat out more often, not stress out so much about how much bread costs, not worry about the financial burden of getting sick, see Diesel and my friends and family more often, and I have a hobby back. By the way I hate the word ‘hobby’. It makes me think of girl guides and collectors badges. I still feel passionate about cooking and eating and just food in general, but now I have lived the dream, and seen the reality. 

Cooking for a living is fun, exhilarating, satisfying, rewarding, the camaraderie in a small team of chefs is similar to being on a tight knit sports team. But it is hard, sweaty, heavy, dirty work. The hours are long, you feel undervalued by your employers (a theme similar to almost every kitchen I worked in and almost every chef I spoke to), you miss out on a real life and real friends, you have to serve other people and be around at their convenience, and give up your social life, and generally work your nuts off, even when you really, really just want to curl up in bed and forget the fact that you’ve no idea how you’re going to pay your next credit card bill. Yep, fun times. So I’ve left it...for now. I don’t think that this is it for me and food. One day when I’ve got some money saved and the time is right I’ll open my deli/tea shop and live the dream once again. But for now, it’s just not feasible (is that the smallest violin in the world somewhere in the distance I hear??)

Anyway, in my opinion that means that now more than ever I have a reason, no, no, a need to write this blog. I hope not to turn into just another of the tedious bloggers whose ‘yummy chicken curry’ makes you want to reach for the power cable and wrap it round your neck, so I’ll do my best to keep this entertaining, and more than just a record of what I eat. If you think it’s getting shite, please tell me. I’m sure even Dickens needed a kick up the arse every now and then (did I just actually compare myself to Charles Dickens? Yep, looks like I did. A bit of controversy can’t hurt – See AA Gill’s weekly review in The Sunday Times Magazine). And I promise that this time, even if I have any more major life changes, I’ll at least try a bit harder to be consistent.